Indecent assault. Racism. Sex crimes. Boys will be boys and mucking around whilst singing the song took a wrong turn this week. And there was some footy as well, sure there was, pretty sure.

1.       Righto, lets get Honk-Gate out of the way. Firstly, everyone’s harping on that its only happened to Mabior Chol. Utter ignorance. Without too much hassle I’ve seen it happen to other players at Richmond, even in the same song as Chol, at St Kilda, Collingwood and Hawthorn. And sure, is it a bad look, especially in a ‘workplace’, can’t argue. Is it wrong? Oh maybe, yes? What would I do if I was Damien Hardwick though? Would I tell the players to stop it? Or just be smarter knowing there’s cameras around. Don’t do anything in the changerooms that you don’t want on camera. Whether flicking your teammate on the tip, walking around nude, or anything else that in the four walls of dozens of consenting larrikins is fine, but when Outraged from Glen Waverley sees it needs to call Neil Mitchell the next morning, perhaps not anymore lads?

Looks like a white guy cupping another white guy to me Hugh and Liz…

2.       Now Hugh Riminton. First glance I thought what an absolute knob. What an utter disgrace totally catching Dimma unawares and dropping criminal charges and sexual assault and lawyers and all that. Flog of the highest order. But you know what, sure it was uncomfortable for a bit, and the questions were a bit how you going, but he isn’t a sports journo, he found a good yarn and it got good coverage. If I’m the Channel Ten news team, well done to Hugh, created a couple days good buzz. It’s a mucky yarn and not winning awards, but fair play to Rimmo in the end.

3.       Except on one point. And I’m going to bring back an old mate, Liz Ellis, into this as well. Hugh found the story, he was loaded, he went about it as a journo really well. But the sensationalist angle of race was irresponsible. Sure, if the evidence said it was only happening to Mabior, you could make a case to ask the question. But the unprofessional act to question Richmond about a race issue when in the very same footage Jack Riewoldt gave a dick flick to Jayden Short, two white men, its extremely poor. Ellis on Sunday, days after it had surfaced, plenty of time to get her facts straight before her hot take on Channel Nine, went with:

this is more than just than the indecent assault that was alleged by Hugh RIminton, there’s a racial element to this and Im not sure that’s been properly addressed

Elizabeth. Please. Chol picked on by two white teammates is a hatecrime yet two white players do it to each other at the same time and its unrelated? Or you just didn’t bother to check your outlandish claim before you went with it? If I’m Richmond, a club who has a proud history of celebrating Indigenous footballers, who Ellis does strangely go on to explain do inclusivity really well, I’d be looking for an apology, its slander at the highest order. Everyone’s down for eliminating racism, how the Collingwood president survived the Adam Goodes saga I’ll go hee. But Ellis and Riminton on this, nup, hate it.

4.       Tom Papley, yep, big dive, wasn’t a free kick but at least the AFL had the pills to fine him for it. I mean sure, its only ten pineapples out of the Swan’s wallet, but I think there’s gotta be something now in the stigma of being acknowledged by Town Hall that ‘yep, you’re a diver’. As for Cal Ward, did he put some mayo on that last Friday? Absolutely. Was it a free if he didn’t, maybe not. But the ex-Spotswood junior has enough credits in the bank to not warrant death threats to his Hotmail. Staggering. Ward’s as tough as they come, and it was nowhere near on the same planet as Papley.

5.       Foxtel are in the shit, and that’s got a direct link back to the AFL coffers. The pay TV network pumps a lot of the cash in for the rights each season, yet have announced in their FY20 figures a 15% drop in revenue year on year and a 14% reduction in subscribers. The AFL needs a strong Fox Footy until new media players start getting out the cheque book. Not ideal.

6.       

I didn’t see this coming to be honest, it has shocked me

David King, esteemed Fox Footy analyst on Jack Martin’s rise to prominence at the Blues yesterday afternoon. Moron. Seen as the preeminent expert on the game, and he didn’t see this coming? David. If you need a hand, here’s what this column had last October champ:

Poor, Kingy, poor. If you think you’re good then at least be good.

7.       Mind you, I said Tom Papley wasn’t worth pick 9. Aside from the Greg Louganis impersonations he is a genuine chance to win the Coleman this year whilst still being short enough to be ok for Maccas playgrounds. Got that one wrong we did.

8.       Isaac Quaynor, freak accident. But just because it’s rare doesn’t mean we write it off as one of those one-offs we need not worry about. How does a non-compliant boot end up from manufacturer’s design team to tearing shin without one of the many pair of hands said boots go through going “hang on, Watkins, don’t be a moron, these aren’t allowed in the AFL?” I wouldnt sack the Swans kiddie who wore them, but someone back up the chain should be on JobSeeker by yesterday.

9.       Alex Neal-Bullen gets four, yeah about two too many. Especially on precedent. However, do we need to scrutinise or potentially outlaw the grabbing of players hands by the tackler? The tactic which has only come about the last five to ten years is now turning totally harmless tackles in to really dangerous ones. Sure it prevents correct disposal but it also takes way the tackled player’s self-preservation. Something to think about.

10.   We so need to fix the rules, the game’s shot to bits. I mean there’s no way we’d get a good game, like Port-Richmond on the weekend, until the rules are amended. It’s such a shame. Sorry KB, can’t hear your whinging anymore, speak up.

11.   Fox Footy oogling over Nic Naitanui on Sunday, and look, love him, one of the better players in the league sure. But to anoint him Jesus based on highlights from the Geelong game where the Cats don’t have a real ruckman, shit me, kinda like saying Qantas is the best airline of all time because Ansett went bust.

12.   Cruel for Carlton with the holding the ball on Sunday, 17 inside 50 tackles laid for no free kicks, the Eagles laid five, got three frees and two goals. Gerard Whateley’s analysis this morning was that whilst not every one of the errors made favoured West Coast, there was still six holding the ball mistakes made by the umpires in that game alone.

Pretty easily laid out by Richard Hinds here…

13.   Max Gawn treatment from the Crows players, don’t worry about whether its fair game or if its on par with the Jake Carlisle on Dean Rampe stuff. How about the Dees’ players stick up for their best player and captain and intervene perhaps? Shall old acquaintance be forgot? Seems like it.

14.   Our man Pete Ladhams, bloody hell, two sausages, 12 touches, six tackles and five marks against the reigning premier. And goal of the year contender too if you don’t mind. Back to back games now over 10 contested possessions. Is discovering him the cherry on top of Port’s premiership prospects? Probably.

Peter Ladhams after kicking an incredible snag on Saturday.

15.   So Round 13 coming up is a semi-normal, typical days of the week kind of fixture, but Rounds 14-16 which I think will be announced in the next day or two, seem like another three rounds, two weeks, footy-palooza set up.

16.   Pies have problems, no doubt. Injuries, form, a President whose foot resides in his gob. But they kick straight against Sydney it’s a ten goal win and no-one’s batting an eyelid. 20 shots on goal was remarkably one more than the Eagles had when they smashed the Pies two weeks earlier. Good kicking is good footy though, of course.

17.   West Coast were shit for a while. Then, they crunched four shit teams, smashed a clearly out of sorts Collingwood then barely beat Geelong and now Carlton. And they’re how short as flag favourites? Say it again – don’t get sucked in.

18.   Champions League knockout the next two weeks, don’t sleep on this. One off-games instead of the regular two-legged affairs. Thursday through Sunday we have the Quarters, Barca-Bayern the pick, two semi finals the following Wednesday and Thursday before finishing with the final the Monday after. Will say it again, this type of format for the final eight each season in non-pandemic years, I’m not against it.

19.   MLB again, barely got enough teams standing with more and more players testing positive. And then this morning in the Astros-A’s game a bench-clearing brawl after a batter was struck by a pitch. Nothing says responsible social distancing like an all-in, in a sport racking up the cases and subsequent game postponements. Bravo.

20. Luka Doncic, the best player in the world, why not? Since the NBA season resumed he is averaging 33 points, 11 assists and 11 rebounds on 48% shooting. I don’t underappreciate Giannis or LeBron, but right now I think the Slovenian’s passed them.

Not up for MVP this season, but right now the 21-year-old is the best baller on the planet.

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